Save my heart
by Tatistus
Summary: Kotoko has suddendly changed. Her personality is no longer bubbly and cheerful, and what's worst, she's not chasing after Naoki anymore! What is going on? Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Hi minna-san! I just thought of an idea that I wanted to explore and I hope you may find it entertaining. Please let me know your thoughts. Thanks!

* * *

Naoki was content with the way his life was turning out to be in the last few months. He obviously was not happy because of his father's illness, and certainly, it was not too interesting to work at Pandai, but he achieved to connect with an excellent business partner willing to invest in the company which would save its financial future. His father was recovering successfully in the hospital and his mother barely showed herself at home, causing that a very willing Kotoko started to "cook" and help around the house to support Noriko and her family. Watching her as she waved him goodbye every morning with a warm smile and as she was eager every night to take his coat and suitcase to help him rest was comforting. This routine was going to be interrupted once his parents were back from the hospital and he transferred to the medical faculty with the endorsement that he already had received from his family, but still he would be walking her to university daily and if their schedules matched, they would commute back together as well.

At the beginning, he was a bit scared of his apparent dependence to Kotoko, to see her, to hear her, to interact with her, but now he was more comfortable with his feelings. What feelings where those? He was to find out yet but he figured it was just a mere habit of having her around. Surely, he had kissed her twice, but it should not mean a lot to him being an adult with his emotions under complete control. First kiss was to make a point. Second kiss was a whimsical moment. That is it.

In a Sunday shiny summer morning Kotoko was in the living room with her father, smiling and humming a cheerful song while they waited for Shigeki and Noriko's arrival from the hospital. It was quite a joyous moment for the Irie Family and their two guests since Shigeki was having a more that satisfactory recovery and everything would be back to normal. The couple indeed arrived and the household felt livelier and warmer. They all shared a delicious meal provided by Shigeo expert hands and the rest of the afternoon and evening was peaceful as they were all trying to create a restful environment so Shigeki could have a speedy recovery.

* * *

Serene weeks went by, Naoki was already a medical student, Shigeki went back to Pandai healthier than ever and all regular activities were resumed by the Iries and their guests. Nevertheless, one day, Naoki felt a disruption in his comfortable routine. Where was Kotoko in his day to day? She wasn't walking with him to university, she was not going back home with him, she was not having breakfast or dinner with him on weekdays, she wasn't even pestering him on weekends. On Saturdays and Sundays, she would eat without looking at him or asking him annoyances, moreover she would barely stay at home and no one knew where she was going besides her father. Just what on earth was she doing?

"Now your life is perfect, nee oniichan?" Said Yukki one of those Kotoko-less Sundays, while they both were reading books, sitting in the living room couch.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you are studying a career that fulfills your expectations, you saved yourself from having to work at Pandai and now Kotoko lost interest in you. Sad the guy she is dating is that idiot, even I think she deserves better. Geez…" Yukki looked over his book to take a look of his big brother's expression or reaction but he didn't find a pinch of interest. Nothing, not even a question of just who was she dating. Yukki sighed and stood up.

"Kotoko warned me about your lack of interest in her love life, but still I thought you wanted to know who her boyfriend is since three weeks ago. Don't you feel even slightly curious?"

"Since when am I sticking my nose in strangers' business? I certainly hope you are not adopting such low practice Yukki, it would disappoint me a little."

"I must disagree. Showing interest in the life of someone who has been living with us for such a long time is not being nosy. Kotoko may be as silly as the next one, but that does not mean she doesn't belong to this family. You being this irrational means that the fact is indeed affecting you, isn't it?

"Nonsense, it is you who is being irrational. Tell okaasan I'll take a stroll and won't be back for dinner." And just like that he went out without a real route in mind.

* * *

 _"Me, affected for her dating someone… Utter gibberish, why would I care the less about her love life? She can kiss and hug whomever the hell she wants. Isn't she a free person? It's not my business, I'm not interested and I won't spare another thought to such trivial subject. That woman used to declare her love for me not long ago and now she's dating someone else. Is that what she wants? So be it._

It was already night when Naoki walked into a convenience store to get ramen and water, and alas, there she was right in the bread aisle.

"Kotoko." She just looked up to him and gave him a lazy smile.

"Hi Irie-kun. Fancy seeing you here at this hour." She was holding a market basket with sliced bread, ham, sliced cheese, two apples, two bananas, two popsicles and a liter of apple juice.

"Hm. Are you alone?" According to the items in the basket, she was definitely not alone.

"No, I'm with my boyfriend. Do you want to meet him?" She never took her eyes from his, but without a doubt, there was something strange in the way she was looking at him.

 _"No, I might punch him in the throat."_ "Yes, why not?" Unnoticed to Kotoko, his hands were pressing the ramen package way much harder than necessary. "Well, where is your boyfriend?"

 _Boyfriend_. A bitter taste in his mouth and an unusually fast heartbeat made its presence in Naoki's body.

"Kotoko move your ass! I won't be waiting for you all night! Where the hell are you!?" That voice, Naoki had the strong feeling of recognizing that damn voice.

Kotoko's body tensed up immediately. "I have to go Irie-kun, maybe you can meet him some other time! I think I won't be going home tonight, please tell obasan for me, nee?" And just like that she ran away from the aisle and to the cash register. Just when Naoki wanted to follow her some little nice old lady tripped and fell in front of him. While he was helping her up at a very slow pace, he heard the 'ding' of the main entrance opening and closing again.

 ** _"What the hell just happened and who's the bastard she's dating?"_**


	2. Chapter 2

_Tedium._ Life was so dull without the excitement that her chaos conveys. Besides boredom, there was another feeling:

 _Loneliness._ No one makes him feel so 'at home' like she does. No one else provokes the need to vent and reveal his true sensations. Only she is capable of saying the right words in the exact moment that they are needed. This cascades to:

 _Anger._ She comes barging into his life, creates a disturbance of his status quo, brings noise to his household, makes his mother stupidly happy, gives him a career path, provides his brother lessons of humility and perseverance and even saves his life, and then she simply leaves their house and disappears _with that imbecile!_ Which brings yet another emotion:

 _Preoccupation._ Even if she is not the most skilled student, she was indeed showing satisfactory signs of improvement, so why did she have to quit university? Why did she had to go as far as living with a stupid boyfriend, only two measly months into the relationship? How does she dare to make his father miserable, forcing him to age the equivalent of two years in only two months?

Surely studying to be a doctor was pleasing and challenging even though he evidently could understand facts and learn skills very much faster than his classmates learn, but still those horrid feelings inside him did not allow him to fully enjoy this stage in his life. Something was amiss and since he didn't liked it he decided he was to recover it. Fast. His resolution was made stronger by the memory of her being awfully yelled at the convenience store. Unquestionably, when Kotoko called him 'meanie', she did not know what kind of dumbass she was going to have in her life. Was he always such an asshole to her? Those were the thoughts that accompanied Naoki while he was commuting from university, not to home, but to her workplace. Nevertheless, nothing prepared him to see what he was seeing right then: a frightened and running Kotoko who bumped into him and, as she looked up to his face and started formulating a quick excuse, she realized who he was and dragged him with an unknown force to an ally.

"What is wrong with you, you should be more…" His words died in his throat as he saw her left cheek red and swollen, with a thin trickle of blood coming out of the left corner of her lips. Her tearful eyes and trembling body told him more than any word that she could say, but still he needed her to speak up.

"Irie-kun please go home, I beg of you… You don't have any business in this area. Just leave!"

"Where did you get injured that much?" He was trying his best not to convey with his voice how mad or scared he was. He could kill someone right now and then take her to a place where no damned one could touch her again.

"I… I just tripped and fell, you know how I am. This neighborhood is not safe for you. I'll pay you a visit some other day, ok? Nice seeing you Irie-kun. Bye bye! So long!"

"I am not leaving unless you come with me to a doctor."

"I'm in a hurry right now, maybe some other day. Please leave now!"

"No! Is someone chasing you? I won't leave you here!" _"Why isn't she providing more details? I need to understand what is going on!"_

"I just need you to go home so he won't find you! He will be so angry, he is drunk, I don't want anything to happen to you, I don't want otousan to find out about this, and you are just complicating everything! I can perfectly handle this by myself so go away!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Just what am I complicating?" His eyes were bigger with each of her replies, he just couldn't believe that the fearful and hurt Kotoko was the brave and cheerful girl he used to know.

"So if you want to stay here be my guest. Nice to see you." Kotoko started marching to resume her previous route and Naoki was a couple of steps behind her when a sudden shadow tackled her down with a scream.

"So you're already cheating on me bitch? Moreover, with that bastard!? Say I'm better than him! Say it!"

Naoki already had his hands clenching the drunk idiot that dared to hurt her again and without much effort, he throw him some meters away. Then he took her hand and dragged her while running away from a very confused and disoriented drunkard.

"Let go of me right now Irie-kun, he must be injured and this is just making everything worst!"

"I must differ and until I see you safe I won't leave you alone."

"I can't go to your place; I don't want otousan to see me like this."

"Then let's go to my apartment."

They kept running until Naoki stopped a cab and they hopped in, complete silence surrounding them. He never let go of her hand though, like if she was going to fade away if he did so.

 _"This is a freaking nightmare… She doesn't deserve this, so why is she living like this? I want to kill that scumbag!"_


	3. Chapter 3

Naoki was sitting down in his apartment's bed, waiting for Kotoko to finish her bath. He was still furious about the state of her face, but he decided to act calmly because it was her life and since he barely let her into his he felt he could not have much say on hers. Still this was his rationale, but his emotions told him otherwise, to grab her and never let go of her. Kotoko left the bathroom and knelt in front of him, on the bare floor. She was wearing her own clothes instead of the ones that he provided, drying her hair with a small towel, never looking at him.

"Thanks for allowing me to come here and use your bathroom. You should not have to worry yourself." He didn't answer. She stood up, still not looking at him, and left the towel in the back of one of the dining table seats. She combed her hair into a bum with her fingers and straightened her clothes.

"I'll be leaving, thanks again. Please don't tell anything to my father or anyone, I will handle this situation with him and I would not like him to hear about this happening by other's words." Her eyes weren't meeting his, her smiled never showed.

"That's what you call it? 'Happening'? How long has this been going on?" He stood up and approached until only a couple of steps were separating them. She kept looking the door.

"Goodbye Irie-kun. Oh, and please don't go to that neighborhood again, is not safe. Say hi to your family." Kotoko placed her hand on the doorknob, but a grip on her arm made her hiss with pain. Naoki immediately released her arm, understanding that her long sleeved blouse was hiding more injuries. His fists were ready to beat the soul out of that imbecile who dared to put a hand on her.

"That Ikezawa was supposed to love you; he chased you for so many years so why is he beating you that badly?"

"This is something between Kin-chan and I, please stay out of it."

"And you are still calling him 'Kin-chan'! What is wrong with you, besides being stupid! You definitely lack of self-respect, you really deserve what is happening to you!" He scarcely had finished the phrase and he was already regretting it. He knew she was more than worthy of being loved and cared for because of all of the happiness that she emitted and enlightened other people's lives. She looked at him for the first time since they arrived and his stomach sunk at the sight: her badly swollen eye and cheek, the slightly purple corner of her lips, and her unreservedly sad eyes were killing him. She offered him a bitter smile.

"It seems like the respect that you have for me is the same that I have for myself." She turned her face to the door and opened it. "So pathetic… Thanks again, please have dinner, it's past time."

"Kotoko, wait…" She stopped, her back to him, and her head hung low.

"I hope you don't have to see me much, from now on I'll try my best to stay away from your life." She walked away without looking back to him. He felt completely miserable and yet he was unable to move, to run for her.

"Kotoko, don't leave… Stay…" He whispered, but she was already out of sight.

* * *

The rain was pouring outside. He was only able to eat because she told him so, but the petrifying thought of her being in danger was keeping him from sleeping. He called home and informed he would not be going until tomorrow. Was she that in love with Ikezawa, as much as to put up with him beating her? What about her love for him…? He felt powerless and lonely. He wanted to protect her but she forbid him from telling anyone about this. Naoki thought it could be as simple as just calling the cops and get her free from the bastard. He even could go and beat the idiot senseless and warn him not to get close to her ever again, but something in him told him to respect her and to act against his logic. Only she who could make him act contrary to rationality; no one else would never put him in that position. It was her power and she didn't even know it. He tried to sleep, but sleep was not an option that night. He tried to read but words and pages danced erratically in front of him. He just needed one thing to have peace: her. But then again there was a problem with that: she did not want his help. Naoki closed his eyes and buried himself under the covers, demanding himself to stop thinking and, what is more, to stop feeling.

The next morning Naoki headed to university, sleep deprived and worried to no end. To hell with her decision, he was not going to allow Ikezawa to beat her anymore. He just needed to inform his teacher that he won't be going to his practical and then he would go to Kotoko's workplace. Or that's what he thought. After talking with his teacher he was leaving the medical building when Kotoko materialized herself before him, wearing a surgical mask and sunglasses. She gently touched his left arm with only her fingertips and that was enough to send electricity through all his body. Kotoko, not letting go of his arm, softly and quietly led him outside the campus and into a little cafe. They took sits in a booth, almost away from strangers' looks. Nor she or he had emitted a single sound. She was looking intently to his arm that had served as support for her and that she was still slightly holding from across the table. He was trying to take a better look of her face, covered as it was. The waiter came and she asked for black coffee for them both.

"They serve a pretty good coffee here, Irie-kun; have you ever tried it?"

"No. Kotoko, I wanted to… well… I would like to apologize for yesterday's words. I do not think even remotely that you deserve this."

"Don't worry, it is me who has to apologize to you. You should have never been involved in this. Actually, I came to explain what you saw so you don't have to feel forced to help in any way. I promise I will not involve you in my life beyond explaining what you saw yesterday." Naoki's face was stoic, but inside he was both scared about what he was about to hear and excited to feel Kotoko's touch. So little it took for her to make him happy, sadly he was going to hear something he guaranteed as awful so his happiness was not total.

"Explain." He demanded. "And remove your sunglasses and mask." She hesitated briefly, and then said: "You are about to hear my side of the story, so I guess it is silly to try to hide my face from you…" She took off her accessories, revealing not only the injuries from yesterday but also some other fresher in the right side of her face. The little skin that wasn't purple or yellowish from the smacks went red from embarrassment. Naoki's poker face mutated from apparent indifference to total disbelief and anger.

"Let's go to the police. Now." He was about to stand up and she stopped him taking his arm and making him sit again.

"You said you wanted me to explain, so I will explain. Please listen to me, Irie-kun."

Fury bolted through his veins, yet her delicate touch in his arm helped him to be calmer.

"I'm listening, Kotoko. And I truly hope this state of yours has a solid explanation."

Surprisingly, Naoki laid his hand on top of hers. Her softness and warmth… It had been awhile and nonetheless he was not able to fully enjoy this experience. His heart was irately racing out of pure hatred towards Ikezawa, but part of his accelerated heartbeat was because of her closeness.

Her surprised showed on her face, her eyes wide open for a couple of seconds before she shut them close. Taking a deep breath, she started narrating.

"I think I fell in love with Kinnosuke. I thought I loved you, but I guess it was admiration and caring more than love. Kinnosuke showed me his love for years and years until I finally realized that I couldn't bring anything good to you, but instead I could be supportive and in reality helpful to his life. When we started dating he had some issues with his family, he was in bad terms with some of them. His mother fell ill and he was travelling back and forth, trying at the same time to work at my dad's place and the university's cafeteria to keep gaining experience to become a good chef. He always wanted to prove himself before my eyes… It was an impossible task to travel so often to Osaka and at the same work in two places. He eventually had to quit the cafeteria job and made an agreement with dad to work as much shifts as possible. I tried to be supportive and started working as a waitress at dad's restaurant and also at the ramen place. It wasn't much money, but at least I could help dad a bit with his money issues. In the end, his mother died a painful death… The whole process, illness and death, made Kinnosuke's soul a bit bitter and his patience felt to the ground. It's pretty understandable and well, you know me, I can't stay out of trouble, so…"

"So you fell in love with him and you allow him to beat you so he can feel better? Is that what love causes? Is that what you wanted me to feel for you?"

"It's not like that… I know you could never love me, I'm lucky enough that you don't hate me. I did wanted you to feel love for me, but I understood that wanting is not being able to achieve. I'm helping Kinnosuke, I'm trying to support everyone, I like helping people and I know this is just a stage in Kinnosuke's sorrow. Just please don't tell anything to anyone, especially dad. I want to protect him too, please… just…" Her voice cracked, she wasn't able to finish the sentence as tears run down her cheeks.

"So, you really never loved me?" He looked intently to her eyes, never letting her hand go.

"That's not important now…" Her gaze meet the ground.

"Just answer."

"I don't think so…" Naoki never got to understand if she was shaking or not, since she retrieved her hands away from his. The pain of her injuries and her status took place in his chest.

"Are you saying you went away from m… my place and quitted university just out of love… for Ikezawa?

She looked at him again, tears still flowing from her eyes. "Yes. I'm acting out of love. It is because of love that I'm doing what I'm doing. Once you fall for a nice girl, you will understand that you want to protect and make happy the ones you love. And that will be a very lucky girl, you know?" Naoki suddenly stood up and threw a couple of bills over the table.

"If that's love, I don't want to love. Ever. Love is painful Kotoko, it's lonely and is full of fear."

He marched to the cafe's door and left without looking back. His walking became jogging and then sprinting. He needed to calm down.

 _"Kotoko… being beaten by Ikezawa. Protecting Ikezawa. Loving him instead of me… Couldn't she just protect me?! I would never beat her, I would take care of her, I would help her father, I would and she won't let me… Damn it!"_


	4. Chapter 4

Three weeks had passed since Naoki and Kotoko's meeting in the café. Her face was now in a better condition as well as her arms and legs. Kinnosuke left their apartment early to go grocery shopping for her dad's restaurant and would not be back until late at night. She breathed deeply to find some motivation to get out of bed. Last night she was afraid of a beating for not letting him sleep with her. He actually pushed her quite hard and made her fall, but immediately after, he profusely apologized just as he did every time he mistreated her. It was a neverending loop of treating her like garbage and then asking for forgiveness. At least he promised not to hit her in the face so her father wouldn't notice. Last time she was lucky Shigeo was visiting her mother's grave…

Would she ever let Kinnosuke have sex with her again? _Never,_ said a voice in her head, but still she knew it was near impossible. She just needed to keep making up excuses to prolong the inevitable and pray for that day to never come. Their first time she forced herself to drink to numb the nauseus sensation but it didn't work as expected. She didn't like it though he tried to be as gentle and considerate as possible. How could she enjoy having sex with an obligation?

Lazily she got out of bed and dragged her body to the small kitchen to brew some coffee. She had never enjoyed being alone until she started living with him. She definitely missed being pampered by Ms. Irie or playfully fight with Yukki-kun. She missed Naoki. And by missing Naoki she felt pathetic for loving him so much it hurt. Three weeks earlier, though injured, she felt happy by seeing him and then being at his apartment was 'cherry on top'ish. Then going to that café with him, touching him, feeling his concern… None of those moments were happy, but she felt happy anyway. These last four months were a dantesque nightmare, so why not feel happy with something as small as seeing and touching him?

She washed the few dishes that were to be washed and cleaned the entire house. It was only 8am by then and her shift at the ramen shop started in a couple of hours. What to do until then? She was less and less fond of visiting her dad's restaurant just to avoid as much contact with Kinnosuke as possible. Maybe she could go to university to have a glimpse of… him. Not the smartest choice, but hey, nobody expected her to be smart, so… She wore a nice lacy white sleeveless shirt and a pair of jeans and took off to Tonan. She just wanted to look at him and then she would leave to the ramen shop. Only a short glimpse. Three weeks without seeing him was more than awful.

Kotoko arrived to Tonan and headed to the medical faculty. She didn't have much time so she walked quickly and hoped for a sight of him. Just when she was arriving to her destination, a pair of hands laid on her shoulders, stopping her and her heart.

" _If this is Kinnosuke, I'm dead…"_ She shut her eyes closed, tensed her shoulders, covered her face and waited for a smack but nothing happened. She sacredly turned and saw a tired face, dark circles under each eyes, a dry skin and a somewhat messy hair. Still, his mouth was showing an almost imperceptible smile. Her heart went from no beating to beating way too much and a stupid smile showed to her face.

"Irie-kun, hi."

"What are you doing here?"

"I was just… well… taking a stroll, remembering good old times."

"I see." Naoki's face showed boredom, but he was ecstatic. It was the first time in four months seeing her smile. He needed more smiles like that in his life to stop feeling worried, lonely, angry and regretful. Her face had completely healed and her rosy cheeks were expressing happiness.

"It was nice seeing you Irie-kun. Say hi to your family for me please. Have a beautiful day!" Naoki didn't want her to bid him farewell, it was too short time to enjoy her presence.

"Are you leaving now?"

"Yes, my shift will start in 40 minutes and it is a long walk from here, you know… Hey! Where are you taking me?" As if it was their thing now, Naoki took Kotoko's hand and pulled her to one of the laboratories, the farthest one.

"What are we doing here?" Kotoko looked a bit surprised. She stood next to the door while Naoki looked outside the dusty window; it was obvious that this laboratory had not been used in a long time. He didn't answer her question, his head couldn't find an appropriate reason for them to be there.

"Irie-kun, I don't understand… Do you need to tell me something? Do you want me to tell you something?"

"No. Well, yes. How have you been? Has he…?"

"No, he has not beat me that much lately. Things are getting better, now he is not drinking that much and his grieve for his mother is not as full of anger as before."

"But he keeps thrashing you."

"I would not call it 'thrashing'…" He marched right next to and grabbed her shoulders.

"Then what do you call it Kotoko? Caressing? Pampering?"

"It's not like that. It's not something you need to understand or worry about." She walked past him and took a sit in an old chair, covering her face with both hands. "You just need to focus on studying and living peacefully. I'm focusing on making my loved ones happy." She looked at him and saw him kneeling in front of her.

"Am I still included in that category? Last time you told me I'm not but you came to look for me today. You still love me, don't you? There is a huge reason behind your relationship with Kinnosuke, am I right? You are hiding something and I will…"

Kotoko cradled his face in her hands. "You look tired Irie-kun. Is school hard for a genius?" She finished the sentence with a smile and kissed his forehead, keeping her lips close to his skin for a long time. "Stay healthy, eat correctly and sleep enough. I'm sure the girls in your class are not happy seeing your tired face." She traced his eyebrows with her thumbs, never letting go of his face. He closed his eyes in response and she caressed his eyelids lightly. After that she planted a light kiss on his lips. And then another. And then a longer one. And then a stronger one that made Naoki move his lips in response. He cuddled her face and kissed her deeper until she broke the kiss. She smiled to him once more, a sad look settled in her eyes.

"Don't worry about me, I know what I'm doing and yes, there is a big reason for me to live with Kinnosuke. You don't need to know that reason, no one does. Just trust me, I know how to handle this situation. I'm running late Irie-kun, take care of yourself."

Kotoko stood up and walked to the door.

"Why did you kiss me?" He was still kneeling in front of the now empty chair. She turned her face to him and smiled.

"Because I always wanted to have a second kiss, so stealing it from you was my best shot. I hope you don't wash your mouth with soap!" And then she left.

Naoki touched his lips, still warm and humid. _"So it is true. The two things I've been pondering about for the last 4 months are true. She's hiding something. And I'm in love with her."_

* * *

 **AN: Please leave your kind review! I'm not sure if I should make this fic rated M... What do you think?**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the very late update... Someone at work just quit and now I have my workload plus hers. Please let me know your thoughts so far!

* * *

Kotoko was caressing her waist, thanking Kami that Kinnosuke had left that morning to Osaka for two days. She wanted to breathe deeply, but the excruciating pain in her ribs made her think otherwise. To her, it was unbelievable that only one week ago she was in cloud nine, celebrating internally her second kiss with Naoki, and in contrast to her happiness, she was hit with a belt on her ribs because she wasn't precautious enough to avoid falling asleep while Kinnosuke was at "home". She knew she talked while asleep. She knew that most of her dreams involved Naoki. And she knew that Kinnosuke was a light sleeper… Still she was tremendously tired and fell sleep before he did so she didn't got the chance to change rooms, to her disgrace…

Many times she seriously thought of going to the police station, or confessing her reality to her dad, or entrusting Naoki with her secret, but then she remembered that the problem was not only Kinnosuke but also his fairly numerous family and the need of venting and saving herself was lesser than the need of keeping her loved ones safe.

She was never a girl eager of money or luxuries, and ironically enough that was the exact reason of her very own imprisonment. Much less she wanted to endanger people that she loved and, without them knowing, their safety became the loan requisite and back up. It was very simple, and yet complex:

Dad got scammed by one of his restaurant's business partner.

Dad was going to lose the restaurant that had become his dream and life driver, besides Kotoko.

Surprisingly, Kinnosuke's family in Osaka had a loan business and since he loved the restaurant so much, he decided to 'donate' the money needed to rescue it.

Even more surprisingly, Kinnosuke 'hinted' to Kotoko that the money would come easier from his family if she started dating him, so it would show them that it was worth the investment. She agreed, of course, because seeing her father suffering like that was painful, he was getting awfully older by the day.

When the 'investment' came true, her father was euphoric proclaiming how the work of his life was saved and how it was all thanks to Aihara's next heir (Kinnosuke) and his beautiful girlfriend. Shigeo was certainly happy to see her with Kinnosuke who had always been such a good boy. He also agreed to Kotoko and Kinnosuke's trip to Osaka, saying that it was important for the families to bond. Kotoko was not thrilled, nevertheless her father's happiness was invaluable for her. It's not like if Naoki was going to feel affected for her dating someone else, and now any small possibility of them being together had irremediably died, much to her sadness...

That trip was the worst… Kinnosuke found out about his mother's pancreas cancer, got drunk and confessed to his family Kotoko's infatuation for Naoki. They were not exactly the 'kind' type of people, and they came up with an reimbursement plan…

They decided that Kotoko's relationship with Kinnosuke needed to be stronger so they needed to live as a couple to learn more about each other and to give more seriousness to their kinship. Then they started training Kinnosuke to properly handle women because it was more than obvious that being kind and caring would never work. According to them, he needed to have a stronger personality, more leadership and better ways of convincing people to obey his commands. It worried Kotoko, a lot. She saw how docile the family's women were and how threatening men became if something was not as planned. They both came back to Tokyo heavily thinking about the course that their relationship was about to take, and the change in Kinnosuke's attitude was palpable. Every time that he went to Osaka he came back angrier, more disrespectful to her and more violent. In front of Shigeo he would act like a gentleman but behind his back he was almost a caveman.

When Kinnosuke started his transformation, Kotoko tried to get him back to his old self but each word or act from her seemed to make things worse, especially when his mother died. She remembered clearly the threats that he barked at her when she attempted to break the relationship:

"Go ahead bitch! Break up with me and I'll make sure to send the loan sharks to Shigeo. The interest rate will be so high that he will have to sell a kidney to pay back a quarter of his debt"

"But you told dad that it was a donation! Why are you talking about a 'loan'? Wasn't your idea to save Aihara?"

"And you think that things are for free in life? No miss, wake up and realize that you were bought by the Ikezawa family, now you only need to be quiet and pretty for me. If you behave I'll pamper you so much you will forget about Irie. You'll love me once you understand that no one else can help your father like I can."

"The restaurant is very important to dad, but I'm sure I'm more valuable for him. We will find a way to pay you back even if it means to sell Aihara!"

"Oh, I see... And what about Irie's liver and kidneys? How much do you think I can make out of those? I know my family has connections here in Tokyo that would help me to sell him piece by piece."

"Don't dare Kinnosuke or I swear to god I'll..."

His fist in her mouth stopped her talking.

"Don't swear anything that you can't accomplish baby, I've learnt how to manage around beauties like you. Clean the blood out of your cute face, we need to go rent our new apartment."

Kotoko was in shock after such blow to her face. She couldn't believe that her old and dear friend Kinnosuke was threatening her father, Naoki and herself. How was this even real? It was also unbelievable that while they were checking their new apartment he apologized for hitting her and asked her not to provoke him again. She tried not talking to him out of anger and sorrow, but it earned her a kick in her left arm and a new warning of not provoking him.

Oh yes, Kotoko remembered the beginning of her hell as if it was yesterday, nevertheless she was going to be 'free' for two glorious days. She could work at the ramen shop and also at Aihara and save the money to eventually get her much needed freedom without Kinnosuke bothering her. And she was craving to see Naoki. She wanted to look at him from afar so badly... She wanted to feel like the old times in which she could follow him without being afraid of being hit. Sadly, at the same time, she wanted to forget about him, in that way she would stop dreaming about him and a future with him that would never happen. So, she just took a warm bath to soothe the pain and got herself ready for work after a quick breakfast. Her first costumer? Naoki Irie himself, not that she was complaining but she asked the gods to make her heartbeat slower. She couldn't help to feel both joyous and sad at the forbidden sight. She approached his table, ready to take his order but not ready to face his cold demeanor at the same time.

"Good morning sir, what would you like to order?"

"Kotoko. I need to talk with you. Please ask you manager for some time off."

"I don't think I can afford to request anything; my manager has been really close to fire me… But what is happening, are you ok?"

"If I told you I'm not ok, would you be able to take some time off?"

"It is not really my call, but I would find a way. What is wrong?"

"Give me a moment." Naoki stood up and went to the cash register to talk with the woman behind it. He flashed a charming smile to her. Kotoko went right behind him.

"Excuse me ma'am, I need to talk with my sister. It is an urgent family matter but I promise it won't take more than five minutes. May I lend her?" The woman just stood there dumbfounded by the gorgeous young man in front of her. She smiled at him sheepishly and with her sweetest voice, extremely unusual in her, she started talking.

"Kotoko, you never told me you had a brother. I have only heard about your father." Stuttering, Kotoko tried to talk, but ultimately it was Naoki who provided further explanation.

"No ma'am. I'm not actually a blood brother but since Kotoko's house was destroyed by the earthquake we have been sharing our household and that's why I consider her my sister." It pained Kotoko to be described as a 'sister'…

"Oh dear, poor Kotoko! Thankfully, she counts on such a wonderful gentleman like you! Go ahead, take five minutes." Kotoko furrowed her brow to her manager's strangely kind words towards her.

Naoki and Kotoko walked to the shop's exit and looked to each other in a very unsiblingly way. Their conversation had not started and it already seemed interesting.

 **Reviews?**


	6. Chapter 6

Gomennasai for the long wait. There have been some changes in my life and it seems that all I can do here is reading, without any success in writing. Hopefully this is not going to be as bad as I think it is. Anyway, I'd appreciate it if you let me know your thoughts. Please read!

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"So, you have something to discuss with your little sister?" Kotoko avoided his eyes, looking intently up to the beautiful, small white clouds that where passing by, floating slowly. "Is everything fine with your family?"

"Actually we had a guest last night, and I think you should be informed about it." Naoki noticed how Kotoko wasn't looking at him, as if those clouds were more interesting. He didn't like the feeling of aloofness towards him. Not from her. Not at all.

"I'm glad you are having guests, but I don't think that's something that I need to know. Now I only have 4 more minutes, so if there is something more, please be swift and…"

"Your father was our guest. He had a few drinks with Father and told us about your idyllic relationship with Ikezawa and how happy he is about his perfect son in law." This time, Naoki didn't bother to hide the distaste he harbored for Kinnosuke. The bitterness and anger were obvious in his voice, even if his face did not show any of those. Kotoko couldn't help to feel stupidly happy to see what she interpreted as jealousy and protectiveness for her, but soon enough she had the word 'sister' echoing in her head.

"I'm clearly missing your point. Is it bad that your family knows that I'm in a relationship with Kin-chan? It is not something I'm trying to hide from anyone, you know…"

"So what, are you proud of him? Are you happy with that guy? You said it yourself, there is a reason behind that twisted relationship!"

"You know what Irie-kun? I don't need to hear this…" Kotoko turned to leave but Naoki wasn't done, no sir, so he grabbed her waist to stop her from leaving. She had to quickly crouch to free herself from his hands, the pain was unbearable. She didn't even realize her wincing nor the tears that she inadvertently shed. Naoki immediately crouched beside her, his eyes trying to find the source of her pain.

"I… I have to go back…" Kotoko took a couple of deep breaths and slowly got up again, while Naoki didn't know if he could touch her to help her up. "Don't think I'm intending to hide Kin-chan from anyone. It's fine if people realize about us being together. What I do want you to understand is that my relationship with Kin-chan is mine to handle, I know what I'm doing and I'll appreciate if you just stay out of it, you don't need to feel any kind of obligation with me because I'm not your sister. We are not anything Irie-kun. Just stop coming here or looking for me anywhere else!"

"Shigeo told my father you are going to get married! What the hell Kotoko! Just why are you doing this? You can't get married to that idiot, you need to tell me what's happening to you! Is he threating you? Are you pregnant? Just talk to me!" Naoki felt the urge to grab her shoulders and shake her into sense, but even though he was sure she was injured he didn't know exactly where. He was going insane, his Kotoko was being trashed and she wasn't letting him help her. She wasn't even complaining!

"P… preg… pregnant?! Me? Oh god… oh god oh god oh god…" Kotoko was livid, she fell on her knees trying to remember her last period date. It was a long time ago, that's for sure, but when? Was there a possibility of her being pregnant? As far as she remembered, Kinnosuke wore a condom when they had sex, but she was kind of drunk then, so her memories were not trustworthy. Suddenly the pain in her ribs disappeared, she could only think in one thing: a pregnancy test.

Naoki could not tear his eyes from Kotoko's face and not for pleasant reasons. He was never a spiritual person but in his mind he was praying for her not to be pregnant of that imbecile. He didn't offer the option because he believed it to be true! Not his Kotoko, not the most absolutely marvelous person he held not even close to his heart but inside of it. He was desperate to do something to help her, but sometimes she seemed too much in love with Ikezawa and Naoki did not know what to do. He was not used to this feeling of powerlessness, but again, Kotoko was the only human able to turn his world upside down.

"I have to go; I need to go now!" She turned and started running towards the closest pharmacy that she could remember. She was in panic, not even able to think that she didn't have a cent on her. Naoki was running after her without great effort other than trying to ignore his aching heart, because if she was scared of a pregnancy, that meant she and that guy had sex… He was fully aware of how pity and inopportune this thought was and yet his mind was holding on to it, the absurd pain also keeping its place, tooth and claw.

Kotoko finally arrived to her not so much desired destination and without the classic hesitation or embarrassment of any other girl she rapidly asked for a pregnancy test, clarifying for it to be the best available. Behind her Naoki was slightly trembling. If they were touching each other they would notice how their hearts were beating at the same speed and rhythm, they were even shaking with the same pace. The cashier asked Kotoko for payment and she looked frantically in all of her pockets for some cash without success.

"Maybe your boyfriend can pay for it, it's not that pricy anyway…"

"B… boyfriend? Oh no…" Kotoko thought, for a couple of seconds, that Kinnosuke was behind her. She was paralyzed with fear until a familiar voice spoke up for her.

"Here. Please keep the change. Let's go Kotoko." Naoki took her arm as delicately as he could, afraid of touching one of her injuries. It was then when Kotoko realized that he was shaking too. She looked at his eyes and found something similar to anxiety.

"Irie-kun?" Her voice was full of doubts and fear. He locked eyes with her for just a minute, enough for them to calm down a little. He led her to the pharmacy's exit.

"I'm with you, understood?"

"Yes… I'm so…" Tears interrupted her words.

"I don't think you should do this in any bathroom. Let's go to my place."

"No! Your family…"

"No that place. I mean my apartment again."

"Oh, that's better. Thank you, really, thank you…" And she hugged him, stopping him. She hugged him tightly and he hugged her back softly, afraid of hurting her but still holding her as if she was a porcelain doll. They took a cab and, again, he held her hand the whole 15 minutes' trip. During their commute he tried not to look at her but refused to let go of her hand once she tried. He was mad at her, he was scared, he was heartbroken and yet he was silently holding her hand.

They entered his apartment and Kotoko stood still in the bathroom entrance, looking intently to the knob.

"Go, don't delay this." Naoki's lifeless voice reached Kotoko's ears, but still she wasn't able to move.

"I know delaying the process is not going to change the outcome. Believe me, I know. But I'm so terrified…" A tear fell on Kotoko's hand, which was now located on top of the bathroom's knob but uselessly since she was incapable of entering. She still was slightly trembling as he was too, her heart was shattering to pieces as his was, and the utmost fear was being feed of her soul, as his was. The only difference was that Naoki had a bit more of courage than she had, so he spoke again but now he conveyed coldness and authority. "You are going to do this right now. Don't make me repeat myself. Go."

Kotoko complied and went to the bathroom softly closing the door behind her. It was only when she was out of sight that Naoki allowed himself to show his emotions. His hands were viciously rolled into tight fists and he could not help to sit on the bare floor. He felt his future vanish in front of him: Kotoko loved Ikezawa enough to have sex with him and now they were going to get married and have a kid, thus they were going to be a family. " _Kotoko Ikezawa… No… It wasn't supposed to be this way! The bastard is going to hit them to death and I'm not sure if I will be able to stop myself from pulling out his limbs one by one… My future… my future with her is dead…"_ He embraced his own knees and rested his forehead on them for what felt like forever, until he heard the bathroom door being open. He stood up jumping and almost ran to her. He needed to hear the news of his upcoming lame, bland and pointless future without her as soon as possible. That way, he could go back to what he was before her. Because maybe, in that way, he would remember how easy and effortless was his existence before her and that would help him to forget her. " _As if forgetting her was actually possibly…"_

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AN: I'm not going to compromise with an update date. i will compromise to work hard to update as quick as possible in my now werid life. Please leave your review!


	7. Chapter 7

Kotoko opened the bathroom door completely and saw Naoki rushing towards her. Her eyes were already full of tears and all that she could do was hug him. She held him in her arms with all her strength. Her mind was still in panic; she couldn't think straight. The only one occupying her mind was the one in her arms. She was violently trembling and mumbling something that Naoki could not understand because of her cries and sobs.

"Kotoko, please calm down, look at me, calm down!" When she heard his voice something snapped inside of her, losing the little control remaining. She ferociously attacked his lips, putting both of her hands behind his neck to push him against her and demand a response to her kiss. She spent too much time trying to be strong, month after month of pretending to have her life under control finally took a toll on her. Naoki was drowning in a sea of confusion, but it didn't stop him from kissing her back. It was a desperate kiss, one that they both needed to have to feel alive. He tried to slow her down but she was already pushing him towards his bed and unbuttoning his shirt. When he felt the mattress in his back he kissed her softer and softer until he managed to create a warm, sweet and soft kiss. He sat them both up in the edge of his bed and gently broke the kiss.

"I can't do this anymore, I'm not strong enough, Irie-kun I'm so sorry!" He dried her tears only to see more coming.

"Tell me the result."

"I… I'm not pregnant." Naoki's soul was suddenly lighter and a small smile showed on his face. He felt the second his brain started working properly again and, although the test was negative, he needed to be sure.

"Let's go to the hospital, let's have you checked to be complet…" A new kiss shut him up. He received it gladly, her lips and scent were addicting. The kiss was soft and yet she kept unbuttoning his shirt until she successfully removed the garment off him. He was starting to lose his mind again, her tiny and not so soft anymore hands were inexpertly travelling his chest and slowly moving southward until she found his belt's buckle and tried to open it. Just then some oxygen got to his clouded brain and he softly stopped kissing her, taking her hands in his. He needed to understand the situation, to know why she was behaving like this, taking into account that in the past she said she didn't love him anymore and moreover, she was in love with Ikezawa. He spoke softly, trying his best not to scare her away.

"What are we doing Kotoko? Why are you kissing me?" She blushed violently but she knew she couldn't hold her feelings anymore. This was a wakeup call, a very scary and exhausting one that made her lose her focus and her willpower. She wasn't sure of how wise was it to share her awful secret with him, but it was clear as water that after today's fright she wouldn't be able to face her life alone. But first, she also wanted some answers.

"Why did you kiss me back? Why have you been looking for my company? Why are you worrying about me now that I finally understood that I'm not good for you? Am I really a sister to you? Is that how you feel about me after living together all this…" Naoki kiss her on her cheek, effectively silencing her.

"If I told you that I now accept that I love you, would you believe me?" Naoki decided to keep talking despite the shock in Kotoko's eyes.

"I realized that I love you. I knew you were important to me ever since Father's heart attack, but I thought I was just used to you. I took you for granted because you were always chasing after me and giving me your unconditional love. But then you seemed to have forgotten about me to go after Ikezawa and I felt awful, lonely, miserable. Then I saw him tackling you down and I knew I needed to protect you, but you wouldn't let me do something for you… you looked so in love with him that I just wanted to stop feeling, well, anything. And then you kissed me at the laboratory and I knew I loved you, I accepted my love for you. Then you were continuously being hit and my temper flared." He caressed her cheek and she closed her eyes, losing herself in his warmth. Kotoko was ecstatic with his declaration, never in her wilder dreams she thought Naoki could ever love her. This was the best sensation in her life. She heard him talking again.

"I couldn't sleep just thinking about your safety and how you rejected my help. It was painful to see you loving that guy so much while I could only regret that I had lost my chance with you and now you were in danger." Now he kissed her on her lips, never getting tired of her taste.

"I will never be able to see you as a sister you dummy. I would be a pervert if I was seeing you as a sister and then kissing you like we just did."

"But I… I want to do more than just kissing…" Her blushing cheeks seemed to call his hands, so he cradled her face while smirking at her.

"That's unlike you, Kotoko. Since when are you so straightforward?"

"Since never! I just wanted to feel closer to you, to show you how much I still… How much I still love you…" She looked down, sadness setting in her face. "But I can't help to think that I don't want to go through that horrid moment ever again, thinking I could be carrying a baby that is not yours. I never believed that I would be scared of being pregnant because I always thought I would have your babies, not Kinnosuke's…" Naoki let go of her hands and his face lost the softness that had shown during their entire conversation.

"You had sex with him. Why? Did the bastard force you?!"

"No! Well, yes, but it's not the way you think it was!"

"I don't care! How dare he! He beats you, treats you like trash and on top of it he rapes you!" Naoki stood up and punched the wall next to him.

"Stop it! Irie-kun please listen to me!" Kotoko took him by his arm and managed to sit him down again. Then, she proceeded to tell him her whole story, trying hard not to break down and not to omit any detail. More than once Naoki stood up again ready to find Kinnosuke and kill him, but Kotoko sat him down every time. Once she was done with her story he lifted her blouse without warning and saw the last lashes on her ribs. He was seeing red, what kind of sick and twisted joke was this?! He stood up with a goal in his mind.

"Stay here, Kotoko. I'll go to Osaka and end with this." Kotoko stood up in front of him quickly.

"No! Stay here, please… Today was a hard day for both of us, we need us more than you need to see him." She hugged him and flushed her entire body against his. "Could you please try to forget everything and just stay here, with me?"

"Kotoko, I need to do something, just let me go and I'll have everything solved sooner than later."

" _Later_ , Irie-kun. I need you here."

He gave into the hug and sat them both down again.

"So, what do you want to do? I guess you are unemployed by now." Kotoko giggled, that was something she would deal with _later_. She traced small circled in his still bare chest and looked into his eyes. Naoki couldn't believe his luck. Even though there were tons of issues to solve, right now she was his and he was hers.

"I know what I want… Breakfast! I'm kind of hungry…" A groan from her stomach confirmed her words. Naoki couldn't help to smile at her smiling face. God he loved that smile… _"Later it is, then..."_ he thought as they walked to his small kitchen. He would make her happy for the next couple of hours, and they would think of a way to set her free _later_.

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 **AN: We are reaching to the end! What kind of ending do you think this story will have? Please let me know your thoughts!**


	8. Chapter 8

Kinnosuke was slowly walking around Osaka's park until he found a bench and decided that his 2 hours long walk was more than enough. His face was pale, seemingly dehydrated and his once abundant hair now was falling. He was so sick of everything… he was not enjoying cooking, he was not feeling comfortable while he visited his relatives in Osaka, he was not trying to learn new techniques from Shigeo and, worst of all, he was not even remotely happy with Kotoko by his side. This definitely was the foulest moment in his life, besides his mother´s painful departure, but for the last months he couldn't help but think: _'What am I doing with my life? Everything is so angsty... I always thought that Kotoko was going to fulfill my dreams, that she would bring me happiness and peace, that her smile would enlighten every single of my days, but now I only feel anger, stress, sadness…'_

The once merry cook was now miserable, unable to sense any joy from his sentimental partner or any other aspect of his blue life. He never wanted to hit Kotoko, not even once. He never meant to sleep with her under the influence of alcohol. He never got any happiness from manipulating her and yet those pills that his family were weekly providing him made him violent and emotionally blind. He had to take them daily, otherwise the withdrawal syndrome would be straight awful, just like if someone was ripping his eyes and gut there and then. He had tried, many times, to drop from those pills, but it was near impossible to achieve. What had his life become? What was he making of Kotoko's life? He still loved her, but not in the way that he used to and that sheer fact was tearing him apart because all the misery and pain were not worth it. Those were not made in the name of love but in the name of drugs…

Besides, there was Christine… Her warm smile, her strong personality, her maturity, her beautiful face… Kinnosuke was dying to taste her lips or even only kiss the skin of her hands; he found himself fonder and fonder of her presence and determination. Nevertheless, what can he offer? An addict already in a sad relationship with a lot of money and abuse in the middle? No, he knew more than perfectly that Chris deserved better and still the flutter in his heart would not stop. His only option was seeking for medical attention and he was not feeling brave enough or even backed up enough. Who would help him? Not his family, for sure, they would only make fun of his weakness. He was even sure that their threats towards Irie and Shigeo were not ever going to lead to any real action, they were not as stupid as to make years of illegal loans go down the drain. It was their utter despite to his feebleness that he was scared of. Maybe he could tell them that he got bored of Kotoko and he now wanted another girl, that way they would leave her, Shigeo and Irie alone.

And Chris? What would his family do to her? At his age, it was unacceptable for them that Kinnosuke was not complemented with a woman of his ownership. His head was now ponding with piercing pain, he was nauseous, his gut was twisting agonizingly and he had to quickly stop a cab and direct himself to his relatives' home to look for another of those dreaded pills. He just plainly hated his life. A lot.

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 _Later_ , for Kotoko and Naoki, became a couple of days. She obviously didn't have a job by now so all she had to do was patiently wait for Naoki to come back from university every day with a decent, edible meal and a clean house. She thought she could not do more for him and she was so very grateful to him that she did chores cheerfully, as if any time had passed since she lived at the Irie's household. Her feeling of belonging was so strong that she allowed herself to relax and forget her messy life. She was finishing a soup (her best plate) when she heard the door opening. A smile automatically touched her lips but she continued stirring the soup after tasting it. She knew that he would come to her and drop a sarcastic comment about her cooking to then just leave to the bathroom to take a needed shower and afterwards sit at the small dining room to wait for her food to arrive. A routine so comforting that was established in only two days and that she could happily live with for the rest of her life. He left the apartment twice a day: in the morning to go to uni and then in the afternoon to go to his practical or to the gym. This meant she had the pleasure of saying _okaeri_ to her beloved treasure two times in a single, marvelous day.

Naoki smelt the soup as soon as he opened the door to his apartment and his heart smiled hard even though his face showed nothing. He approached the kitchen entrance, the first thing he saw was her back and it felt like home, so he announced an apparently aloof _tadaima_ just to see her promptly turning with a blinding smile while saying her now favorite word: _okaeri_.

"I truly hope that watery mixture that you call soup is edible and not upsetting to my stomach." He tried to sound careless without achieving it, since a slightly goofy smile was set in his face while speaking.

"You will need to taste it to check. Either way I know you will eat it completely, as always." The was a mischievous glint in her eyes, which were shining with love. Naoki often found himself fighting not to stare for longer than needed into her hypnotic brown eyes. "Go take a bath, I have the dining table set once you are finished."

Naoki collected his toiletries and directed himself to the bathroom. But there was a need, a force that made him go back to the kitchen, turn Kotoko and kiss her deeply, with fervent passion. He knew said force was simple despair: this was the last day of having her in his apartment. She told him in the morning when he was getting ready to leave and it didn't feel right. Not at all.

He kept kissing the sense out of her, trying to imprison her in his embrace and tasting every single flavor that she could offer. Kotoko softly pushed him a bit to regain her ability to breathe. She understood his fears by only looking at his face. She knew he needed more reassurance than her in this moment.

"I'll be fine, Irie-kun. I've been telling you that I know how to handle this situation."

"He's physically stronger than you. Understand my fears, he may even kill…". She interrupted his sentence with a butterfly kiss and a tight hug. She talked to him while hugging and slowly rocking him, hoping to calm his nerves.

"I still have a couple of more hours before going back to my place. Let's focus on us, don't think in anything else." He broke the hug saying he needed a shower and left her in the kitchen without even looking at her. He locked himself in the bathroom. His mind was turmoil, which led him to do something he had never, ever done.

 _"_ _Please, Kami. If you do exist, if you are real, please let her stay by my side… If you really are just and merciful, let her be with me, under my protection"._


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry for the delay! My life is a bit chaotic right now and I only hope you guys enjoy this chapter! As always, please let me know your thoughts!

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Kinnosuke was in a bus going from Osaka to Tokyo watching the sunset, almost regretting having dumped all the pills that his family had given him. His head and stomach were pulsating with an excruciating pain that was making him feel about to vomit, but now he was decided to change the awful turn his life had taken. No more drugs, no more sadness, no more frustrations for his and Kotoko's future. He wanted to be free and even more, he wanted to be loved, to be truly cherished. His hand was still clenching the cellphone that brought the best news he had had in a long time: a slightly drunk Christine called him last night to tell him how much she was in love with him and how much she wished she could have met him before Kotoko. He was speechless to her words, his heart beating fast and not because of the pills but out of pure bliss. Christine excused herself before hanging up, only to call him back early in the morning to apologize for her behavior. Kinnosuke yelled to her not to apologize, since he loved her too, maybe even more. They had a long conversation in which he insisted he needed to confess a lot of details, preferably in person. Chris kept pushing until he told her, by phone, all his truth and the impossibility of leaving Kotoko alone without provoking his explosive relatives. She was utterly shocked and Kinnosuke was sure that if she was facing him she would have slapped him. When she was calmer, she ordered him to come back to Tokyo and see her first in her apartment because she had thought of a bulletproof idea to break everyone free. And he believed in her, with all of his heart. The pain he was feeling, the nausea, the cold sweat, everything was easier to take if she was leading his life to a warm light.

The same sunset was marking the end of Naoki's and Kotoko's convivence. The ate her soup in silence, looking only their plates. Kotoko really tried to create a relaxed atmosphere but her soul was in pain. Not only she was jobless, but now she knew what she was missing by not being with Naoki and, worst of all, she had to go back to faking a happy relationship with Kinnosuke for everyone's sake. When they both finished their soup, she quietly collected the dishes and took them to the sink, washing them slowly. When she was done, she went to the bathroom to take her toothbrush and toiletries, walking almost as if counting every step to the living room where her small luggage was waiting for her.

"Irie-kun, I'm leaving. Thank you for having me here, I will forever treasure these days in my heart". And almost as if she was guessing his thoughts, she took his hands and added: "I promise you I will take care of myself. Be sure of this: I'm extremely happy of being able to take care of you and otousan". She kissed his knuckles softly and tried hard not to let her voice crack. "I will go to your faculty every now and then, so don't think you got rid of me!"

In the second she turned her back to Naoki, he hugged her by her shoulders so tightly that her breath escaped her lungs on one sonorous groan, the one she was trying not to let out. His voice was soft but somehow threating:

"I promise you I will have a definite solution to your problem. There's no way in hell that I will leave you alone in this. Remember: you have me, you have my love, you are not alone."

Her eyes were full of tears but she quickly wiped them away before turning to face him again. This time she couldn't help her voice to break a little:

"I know. But please, please focus on your studies. I can handle this, don't forget it. Ok?"

"Kotoko…"

"I'll be fine!" She flashed a bright smile that was not in any way reflecting the pain her soul was experiencing. "I'm like a bad weed, nothing will be able to bring me down!" She stood on the tip of her toes and gave him a quick kiss in his nose. Then she grabbed her luggage and ran as fast as her short legs allowed her to, reaching the door and yelling to the top of her lungs before exiting:

"I love you Irie-kun! Trust in me!"

Naoki stood in the middle of his little living room with a stoic face that did not reflect his troubled heart. Much to his surprise, he found himself wanting to sleep for endless hours, presumably in an attempt to wake up and realize this was a stupid dream. He absentmindedly stripped off his clothes and got into bed, sparing his last seconds of consciousness to Kotoko.

Much to Kotoko's joy, she was alone when she got home. She was sure Kinnosuke should be home by now because he had to be early at her dad's restaurant tomorrow morning and he was never late. Where on earth was he? She texted Naoki to let him know she was ok, but he didn't reply so she just washed and got to bed, savoring her last couple of days before surrendering to sleep.

Morning arrived and Kotoko's first action was to check her cellphone, looking for Naoki's reply. A simple 'Have a good day' was in her inbox, enough to make her smile and giving her the much-needed strength to start her day. "Happy thoughts, Kotoko. Let's find a new job!"

Kinnosuke woke up surrounded by a fine scent, the one belonging to an angel. It wasn't sweet as Kotoko's, but it was certainly feminine and strongly sophisticated. He smiled before opening his eyes and realized that he was indeed in the presence of his beloved angel, but not in her room as he remembered to be last night. Slowly he sat up, watching golden locks falling on Chris' face while she was deeply sleeping resting her head in the bed that he was occupying. A hospital bed.

"How did I get here? Why do I have a hospital gown? What the hell is going on…?"

"Oh, good morning Kinnosuke! How are you feeling today?" Chris stretched her arms while standing up, looking lovingly to the love of her life.

"Chris, how did I get here? I perfectly remember being in your room…"

"You fainted dummy, so I seized the chance and brought you to the clinic that my mom recommended us. They are already giving you the medications needed to clear that drug out of your body and to appease the abstinence syndrome that you will go through. I already called Aihara-san to let him know you are not going, and your place will be temporarily taken by my cook." She caressed his confused face warmly to let him know everything was being taken care of. "We are starting our plan Kinnosuke, I only wish you would have told me all your troubles earlier… Do you know for how long have I been longing to do this?" She kissed him on his lips, and taking advantage of his surprise she deepened the kiss, taking his face in her hands and sitting down in his bed to be more comfortable. She broke the kiss but did not let go of his face.

"Mom talked to your doctor. He has treated many addicted celebrities and he already has an idea of the kind of drug you were taking. My dad is getting in touch with some, ehm, contacts of his that happen to be in the same, ehm, professional area that your family is, only in a much higher level. They will spread the word that you caught a cute British girl and that we are planning to open our own restaurant. See? I have connections, I told you I had a good plan!"

"Chris… I don't deserve you! You are more than I will ever merit to have! Didn't you listen to my story. I'm as stained as my family is!" Kinnosuke was completely broken, crying so hard that his words were hard to understand. He was delighted to see a light at the end of the tunnel, but at the same time he felt so low and dirty, undeserving of his angel's love.

"You were also a victim Kinnosuke, don't be too hard on yourself. Even in the middle of your hell you were able to be kind to me, you showed me your passion and talent, you shared with me your heart and I love you for that. I'll always be by your side!"

Chris hugged Kinnosuke, warmly calming him down until he stopped crying and, eventually, he fell asleep. She smiled sweetly to him, silently promising him to help him out of his hell and, obviously, helping Kotoko as well. She left his room and made her way to Kinnosuke's house, hoping to find Kotoko to let her know their plan.


End file.
